I promised myself when I started writing for HellYeah that I would only write about topics that I’m genuinely interested in. I have multiple articles in the pipeline, but I thought that to kick off the new year right, my first story had to be big, bold, fun to read, and maybe even a bit mainstream. So, what- reader- is a mainstream topic or thing that makes you think of the phrase “hell yeah”? F-22 Raptors, Dale Earnhardt, Michèle Mouton, and the Shelby Cobra are all too niche (along with the other stories I won’t mention yet), so what could I do?
That’s it! I’m tending to one right now as I write this article.
Beer. One of- if not the– most alluring creations known to humankind, and it literally ticks all boxes: mainstream, tick. Fun, tick. I’m passionate about it (who isn’t), very big tick. Also yes, beer as we know it has been around for at least five-thousand years, however archaeological findings in Israel from 2017-18 indicate that a western-Asian nomadic people called Natufians were making a low-alcoholic beer over 13,000 years ago for ritual purposes. For at least five-millennia, beer has become the most popular and widespread alcoholic beverage in the world, spawning an industry that rakes in over $800 billion US dollars every year. You see the effect of this industry every day; on TV advertising, billboards, sporting events, online and on all social media platforms. Politicians condone it, celebrities endorse it, and I believe it is literally impossible to go a day without seeing some sort of advertisement or mention of beer.
I don’t mind though because apart from water, beer works everywhere: Working out in the yard all day under the sun? Have a beer. Hiking to the top of a mountain? Have a beer. Gone fishing? Have a beer. Having a beer? Have a beer. Even winemakers love to quote “It takes a lot of beer to make good wine”. If you can think of doing something, you’ll probably think of having a beer as well (as long as its socially acceptable- drinking a beer at a job interview won’t bode well for your career).
Even some animals enjoy a beer sometimes, with the best example being that of Wojtek the brown bear (pronounced Voy-tek), who during World War II was gifted to the soldiers of the Polish 2nd Corps as a mascot. Joining the 22nd Artillery Supply Company, Wojtek played a crucial supply role in the Battle of Monte Cassino (1944) by carrying crates of supplies and ammunition on his back to relieve his fellow soldiers. In return for his service, Wojtek was rewarded with a promotion to Corporal, honey, fruit, and most importantly- Beer, and lots of it. Wojtek survived multiple campaigns during the war and later died of old age in 1963.
Beer is a core pillar for many societies as it transcends gender, class, social status, and species. Personally, I’ve had some great memories while around beer. For example, when my siblings and I would leave a can out for Father Christmas *cough-Dad-cough* because apparently the big man didn’t drink milk when he flew over Australia. Another one is when after a few beers, some mates and I went out rallying an old Holden Barina on dirt tracks- it didn’t survive. One of my favourites though is when I was completely alone in a Berlin hotel room sometime after New Years Day 2019, looking out the window, people-watching in the early hours of the morning while listening to the cricket back in Australia.
Beer was here before us, and it will continue long after we die. Don’t trouble yourself over the logistics of it though, because in the words of Stone-Cold Steve Austin himself, “I’ll take a cold beer instead…”. Hell Yeah.
Noah
Writer & Editor – HellYeah
Photographer – FourWheel Media
Hell Yeah 